so i was pumpin' gas today...

[SHATOUSHKA]

$10 with my claw hand....

at about $2, my hand started hurting...
like fucking arthritis, right in the
center of my palm.

i decided right then and there that i
would continue pumpin' the rest of the
gas with my claw hand and analyze the
exact pain and placement.

it was tough.
right at about $6, i couldn't hold out any
longer. i wanted to stop. BUT I COULDN'T!!!
i had to go on.

now, hours later, my hand feels the same
as if i were still pumping gas.

SURE... it may be dumb.
i can hear the posts now.

but... how many of you can honestly say
that you allow the persistence of pain just
to analyze it in detail???

AH HA! thats what i thought.

it sucks.

after that epiphany, the reoccuring thought
surfaced in my head,
"what if the day comes that i can no longer
use my left hand????"

that is a sad thought.

[Trampis]

Perhaps a career change is in order.I would think an intelligent person such as yourself could do more with your life then being a service station attendant.

[TastinGood]

[img]biggrin.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[SHATOUSHKA]

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!

ahhhh, trampis... you made me laugh hard.

makes me wonder though...
if i were a gas station attendant,
could i still be online all day?

hmmmmmm

*scratches chin*

[Beta-Decay]

You probably could, just put a computer next to where you sit. Like I do at work.

[Beta-Decay]

I would have typed more, but someone decided to run into someone else outside my window.
People are dumb.

[Trampis]

Care to share a little about yourself Shatzy?The Claw hand?

[Hannibal]

I find pain to be one of those extremely personal things, that no one else can understand.
I like it myself.
When something like that happens, where it hurts, I usually continue to do things to make it hurt, until it doesn't hurt anymore, thus either strengthening whatever it was that was hurting, or heightening my pain tolerance so that doesn't happen anymore.
But it's not just to "pinpoint" the pain.
I could give two shits about that.
Suprisingly enough however, when I get hurt, I instantaneously know what is wrong when it happens. I know what is affected, how, and why.
I dont have to "pinpoint" it.
It's some odd little thing that just happens.
*shrugs*
I like pain.

[SHATOUSHKA]

when i say i analyze the pain...
that means something rather deep.

most people experience pain as some outside
force acting upon them in an otherwise just world.
on average, people see pain as an antagonist,
one of the polar opposites that is necessary
to the grand scheme of things **makes motion
with arms in a large circle**...
but yet, always seems to be the 'bad guy'.

when analyzing pain, it is almost to say that
it is a symptom of that which is 'wrong'...
i.e. -- a broken bone, a strained muscle, etc.
essentially, it is less than positive, sub-standard,
but all in all, something primeval and that which
should be twarted.

i fancy the pain that i received at the gas pump.
it was a peircing, direct pain that made no
attempts to be brief or delicate.

my point is -- it gives something to be said
about 'the will' (as in schopenhauer's WILL).
i related it back to the will entity, a living
force propelling us, using us as its host.
the pain is a signal from the will telling us
that adjustments should be made to satisfy the will,
to make its host take the necessary steps in
order its safety.

think of it like a car. you use a car to traverse
from point A to point B. when the car needs gas
or maintenance, it signals you with obvious
behaviors. you are inclined to fix it because
you require its utility.

this is the same thing,
you are the car, the 'will' is the driver.

very interesting....

[SHATOUSHKA]

ok... well i mentioned this a few weeks back,
but here's the abridged version =P

a month or so ago i noticed the little finger
on my left hand somewhat numb. i shrugged it
off (since i'm on the computer alot) and let
it go for about a week. at the weeks end, no
change in my finger -- other than the fact that
the left side of my ring finger became numb
as well, along with the left side of my hand.

i researched some info online and found this
informative site: CLICK ME!

this was exactly what i was experiencing.
eventually the sensation got worse... pain
began to happen in my fingers.

i went to the school nurse practitioner...
i deliberatly fail to mention the info i found
online to see if he would give me the same
results. he did. i got a brace and all that shit.

fast forward to today (or when i was pumpin' gas).

the whole 'claw hand' thing was really one of
those jokes. since a claw hand is what could
ultimately become of the problem. at the apex
of the numbness, i couldn't stretch my last
two fingers... hense the 'claw hand' reference.

my hand feels somewhat better than that day.

my main area of objection and concern about all
of this is the fact that i write with my left hand.
not only that, but i also draw with it. this is
incredibly scary to me.

so now you know.... [img]tongue.gif[/img]